One day at a time

So I woke up this morning with the dreams of being pregnant in my head. ( to my own knowledge I am not Preggers) I have wondered about this for the past couple of days.

The first thing I wonder about is, if we are pregnant.... will we have a bigger place? Will it be a boy? Will he have the same learning disablility as I do? Is he going to be an Alkie like mom and dad? Have I done enough? Will I be resentful?

Then my head will run on and on about that, and what if we are doing too much too soon. I had to bring up the "stress list" just to give my mind more fodder to run with.

I went to my Mother's yesterday and she helped calm me down. It is so funny I can project so easily with everything. The above was the abridged version of what was going through my head!

To stay in today: Life is amazing, I have the best husband I could ask for. I have a great job, good sponsies, two fantasic sponsors that keep me going. If I had to trust in HP to get me this far.. how about I trust him now with all these fears? I could have never gotten myself to this point but he did.

In the immortal words of the unspoken first three steps "I can't, he can, I think I'll let him."

God Bless

The picture is on flickr.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/97563518@N00/page5/

The Steps we took

This post is named after Joe Mc Q's book. My husband recently was given this book for his 14 year anniversary by a friend. I opened it to find myself serenely in deep thought. Basically the book is designed to help anyone teach/sponsor the 12 steps. And it is simply beautiful in it's simplicity. I read the chapter pertaining to step one, and was moved by some of the examples and suggestions.

It is funny that now I come across this book, considering that I feel like my recovery is under going a re-birth in a sense. I am not as concerned as much with staying away from drinking or debting as I am be of service to my HP and mankind. I truly just want to work more on my program and discover more about myself with each passing day.

I am blogging in hopes of finding others who are like me, in that they are not simply going to meetings and not drinking (which is great!). People, who want to continue to develop their recovery and who believe in the unity service and fellowship of the program.

The First Post

I have done over a dozen first posts (okay 4, program of honesty and all that) and I have never started one on recovery, and that is what I am truly passionate about.

I would like to consider myself a seeker in recovery, and those are the people that I want to meet.

"Trudging the road of happy destiny"
That passage of the BB at first frightened me because I really did not know what it was to "trudge". It seemed to have some kind of work ethic to it and that was definitly not for me.
16 years in AA later and I now know that to "trudge" is to walk with determination.

That is what I have been doing. Walking through recovery with determination. My first 3 years were strong, I look lots of commitments did a lot of service. Then I got married and I became too busy to go to my home group. I was a peripheral member and did not know why I was miserable. At 10 years I got a new sponsor who got me back on track and life is so different.
I make home group, take commiments, and even had to join DA because of the nasty financial bottoms I kept hitting.

I have started a work blog because I really wanted to learn more about it, but this one is for me.
I hope that it touches others too.